From Where I Stand: The Black Experience In Country Music Best
Rate This Product :
Customer Reviews
*** Product Information and Prices Stored: Jan 31, 2012 22:01:51
Introduction
Have you ever heard or have you ever seen, father-son; mother-daughter; husband-wife; boss-subordinates; brother-sister as a friend? Might be yes, but how often and how genuine. At the end of a day, the message is, "mein tumhara baap hoon, jo mein kahta hoon, who karo" (I am your father, do what I say). Recently, I posted one query, "Can an adult male and female be just friends", and replies are just shocking (read below). That is why, I say, friendship is a relation of choice. But, do you know the meaning of "Friendship", yes, you know, you have read in some newspapers and magazines, but what about applying the same.
Understanding Friendship
Before I start I know, as you probably know, that a friendship can be an antidote for loneliness or depression or even boredom. But it should be just more than an antidote for these problems. What are the qualities that lead to a solid friendship?
First of all, friendship must be genuine. In friendships we communicate what we are and who we are capable of becoming. Friendships inquire that we communicate ourselves without pretenses or masks, without affection or deception. G.K. Chesterton knowing the risks complicated in cultivating a solid friendship, summed it up when he said, "Friends are those with whom our faults are safe."
Another ingredient essential for the cultivation of a friendship is that one must be generous. The friendship is its own reward. Christ summed up the element of generosity when he said, "greater love than this no one has than he who lays down his life for his friend."
Another quality needed for a friendship is that it be gratuitous. It is a free donation or gift of one person to another. Friendship is never marred by jealousy. There must be a clear freedom between the two friends. Otherwise, there could be the problem of possessiveness or even suffocation of the friendship.
Other qualities could be mentioned so that solid friendships can be cultivated. A sense of humor, charity, understanding, compassion is only some of the ingredients that have to be cultivated for a solid friendship with another.
Just one more notion on this subject. For many citizen in this world, life is cold, lonely and hard. If they had one friend, their lives would not only be different, but happier. A friendship is a touch of heaven on earth. And you can bring a touch of heaven into someone's life.
Friendship between male and female
Hence, strong friendships between a man and woman are sometimes difficult to understand and accept though relationships between two women or men is more readily proper by our society. When a man and woman hold hands in public, automatically they are assumed to be lovers. Friends are friends and lovers are lovers. Very few citizen are physically affectionate with their friends. citizen find it difficult to dissociate love from sex. If two citizen express love and affection for each other it is assumed that they are lovers. The truth is fairly simple: two citizen like each other, are comfortable together and a special bond of friendship develops between them.
Sometimes friendship is taken for granted and citizen are willing to give it up when they fall in love, want to marry or have a long term relationship. Sexual or romantic love is assumed to be best and therefore preferred.
There are factors which decides if a male and female can be Just friends or not and we will discuss here, one afrer another.
1) Your mental and Emotional Make-up: It need high level of maturity, understanding and wavelength for any merge to keep that notion of intimacy away from their heart throughout the relation.
2) Type of School and College you have studied in: If you have studied in "all boys or all girls" type of schools and colleges then there is a high opening that your relation with your counterpart of opposite gender will not be clean and transparent as compared to those who have studied to "Co-Education" system.
3) Number of friends with Opposite Genders: If you have more friends from opposite gender than there is a opening that your friendship with those citizen will be clean...with any notion of intimacy collate to those who have one or just microscopic friends from opposite gender.
4) Family Background: If the house of more orthodox, traditional, with very correct value system...then also at times... There are chances that you cannot be Just friends with a person from opposite gender.
5) Stage of life you are going through: If you are facing lots of rejections, emotional instability, frustration, lots of struggle and if your carrying out is not appreciated by your bosses and colleagues...then also you try to find that solace, that comfort by intimately getting involved...because their you find acceptance and emotional comfort.
6) Profession you are into and type of society you are working in: As we have discussed in one of the cases...if it is male or female dominated enterprise or department...there are also citizen tend to get complicated with citizen of opposite genders.
7) Successful, Happy Married Life and Unsuccessful and Unhappy Married Life: If you don't have successful and happy married life...you are not getting that time, care, and affection as you want and if you have a friend from opposite gender who is taking care of you, giving you time, affection and emotional maintain than also there are high chances of developing those intimate relation...much above your "Just" friendship thought.
So, it is possible to be "Just" friends with citizen of opposite gender and it depend on your maturity, mindset and your need at that single time. We can talk about our thoughts; our feelings but you cannot say the same thing about the person of opposite gender. You never know what your friend is talking about you in his or her group of friends.
As far as my personal experiences goes...I have lot many "Female Friends" from different cities, different countries, from different age groups, married-unmarried-singles and now gender hardly matters to me. We discuss about our experiences, go out for dinner, movie, and picnic and also give comforts...if there are any issues at expert and personal fronts. But, as I said earlier...I can say how I feel, what I think...I cannot say with any surety as what they feel and think.
If the sexual element in a connection is lost, no friendship is left and the merge moves away from each other in every respect. Instead of finding sexual relationships as friendships, which comprise sex, couples often see them as isolate from any kind of friendship. If citizen could break away from this tradition they could be friends with their lovers and ex-lovers and enjoy close, happy and meaningful relationships. This would also reflect a clear amount of growth and maturity of the personality.
My Gift to all my friends for their Friendship
I love you not only for what you are,
but for what I am when I am with you.
I love you not only for what you have made of yourself,
but for what you are making of me.
I love you for the part of me that you bring out.
I love you for putting your hand into my heaped-up heart,
and passing over all the foolish and frivolous and weak things
which you cannot help dimly finding there,
and for drawing out into the light
all the beautiful, radiant belongings,
that no one else had looked quite far adequate to find.
I love you for ignoring the possibilities of the fool
and weakling in me,
and for laying firm hold
on the possibilities of good in me.
I love you for end your eyes to the discords in me,
and for adding to the music in me by worshipful listening.
I love you because you are helping me
to make of the lumber of my life not a tavern but a Temple,
and of the words of my every day not a reproach but a song.
I love you because you have done more
than any creed could have done to make me good,
and more than any fate could have done to make me happy.
You have done it just by being yourself.
Perhaps that is what being a friend means after all
Saying so, I never mean to say that, I will be giving you solutions for all your problems
As a friend, I may not be able to give solutions to all of life's problems, doubts, or fears; but I can listen to you, and together we can seek answers. I can't convert your past with all its heartache and pain, nor the hereafter with it's untold stories; but I can be there now when you need me to care.
I can't keep your feet from stumbling. I can only offer my hand that you may grasp it and not fall. Your joys, triumphs, successes, and happiness are not mine; yet I can share in your laughter and joy.
Your decisions in life are not mine to make, nor to judge; I can only maintain you, encourage you, and help you when you ask. I can't give you boundaries, which I have carefully for you, But I can give you the room to change, room to grow, room to be yourself.
I can't keep your heart from breaking and hurting, but I can cry with you and help you pick up the pieces and put them back in place. I can't tell you who you are. I can only love you and be your friend.
And every morning when you open your eyes, tell yourself that it is special. Every day, every minute, every second is a gift from God, you've got to dance like nobody's watching, and love like it's never going to hurt.
People say true friends must always hold hands, but true friends don't need to hold hands because they know the other hand will always be there.
Conclusion
"Friendship is the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person having neither to weigh thoughts nor quantum words, but pouring all right out just as they are, chaff and grain together, clear that a faithful cordial hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth holding and, with a breath of comfort, blow the rest away."
Not only in Friendship but also in all the relations love is the driving force that creates and sustains it. The kind of love friends have for each other is the desire to know, serve and share. It is the antithesis of lust - the desire to acquire, possess and control. It is what makes one want to associate with another human consciousness - intellectually, emotionally and physically.
Unspoken doubts and suspicions are barriers that limit the possible depth to which a friendship can progress. Love empowers friends to say how they feel about each other without inhibition or fear of hurting each other's feelings. It thereby allows them to decide their doubts and suspicions about each other, thus removing the barriers and opening the way to an ever-deeper friendship.
Because friends love each other, one never attempts to force, coerce or control the other to convert for the better. One friend only informs the other of the way he or she feels. Love will motivate the informed friend to convert him or herself for the better. Because friends love each other, they will never use each other as a means to an end - as a human resource to be used and abused for self gain. A friend - as a precious sentient consciousness - is an end in him or herself. That end is the joy of sharing experiences and reciprocal love.
Let me know, what you have to say about it.
With lots of love and care,
Can a Male and Female be Just Friends?The young ones - Dr martens boots song [ripped by tinera] Video Clips. Duration : 2.20 Mins.A mom had been praying earnestly for her only son, ever since he was a baby. When the son grew up, he was endowed with wisdom and with the love of the Lord. But years passed by, he started to drift away from the Lord, indulging himself in the world's vanities, mixing nearby with ungodly wicked friends, but his mom did not give up in her prayers.
She fasted and prayed, clinging to the promises of the Lord. She kept praising and thanking the Lord for transforming her son into a godly slave of His. The Lord heeded her prayers and truly transformed her son totally and began to use him mightily in His ministry. Our God is a living God!
If you are a mom of problematic child who is afflicting you, do not be dismay. The best way to solve your problems is to seek the our almighty Lord as He will wipe away your tears and show your child the exact path.
Oh, how abundant is your goodness,
which you have stored up for those who fear you
and worked for those who take refuge in you,
in the sight of the children of mankind! ( Psalm 31:19)
A mother's supplication to the Lord for the sake of her child is of unique value. Every mom should come to be a praying mother. Let all the mothers arise and shine! Fast and Pray, cry out to the Lord with tears for your child. Turn yourself into a praying and devout mom to bless your child.
The Power Of A Mother's PrayerToby Keith - Beer For My Horses ft. Willie Nelson Tube. Duration : 5.40 Mins.When choosing a poem or verse for a life celebration, funeral or memorial service you will first want to think where you plan to use the poems and verses. Today, many habitancy are going beyond just prayer cards and bookmarks and creating memorial service folders and discrete memorial favors. You also may wish to print the same poem or verse on thank-you notes that you will send out. If you are using the verse on a small size card obviously you will want to choose a shorter poem or verse.
Next, you will want a verse that most intimately captures the essence of the person. Sometimes this may even come in the form of musical verse from the person's favorite band or singer. You may want to examine their music selection to see if you can find some song lyrics that might be appropriate. Possibly a house member or even a young house member could write a poem. Experts advise writing as an effective form of grieving. Children, although very straightforward in their thoughts can often write very fascinating words.
Consider that the poem does not have to be about death but instead how they lived their lives. For example;
"To love for the sake of being loved is human,
but to love for the sake of loving is angelic."
By Alphonse de Lamartine
Not all horses were born equal.
Some were born to win.
By Mark Twain
To laugh often and much;
to win the respect of the fascinating people
and the affection of children;
to earn the appreciation of honest critics
and feel the betrayal of false friends;
to appreciate beauty;
to find the best in others;
to leave the world a bit better
whether by a salutary child,
a organery patch, or a redeemed public condition;
to know that one life has breathed easier
because you lived here.
This is to have succeeded.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Love is also a base theme;
To Those Whom I Love and Those Who Love Me
When I am gone, publish me, let me go
I have so many things to see and do
You must not tie yourself to me with tears
Be happy that I have had so many years
I gave you my love, you can only guess
How much you gave me in happiness
I think you for the love each have shown
But now it is time I traveled on alone
So grieve a while for me, if grieve you must
Then let your grief be comforted by trust
It is only for a while that we must part
So bless the memories in your heart
I will not be far away, for life goes on
So if you need me, call and I will come
Though you can not see or touch me, I will be near
And if you listen with your heart, you will hear
All of my love nearby you soft and clear
Then, when you must come this way alone
I will greet you with a smile and a
"Welcome Home"
Mary Alice Ramish
Love Lives On
Those we love remain with us
for love itself lives on,
and cherished memories never fade
because a loved one's gone.
Those we love can never be
more than a understanding apart,
far as long as there is memory,
they'll live on in the heart.
If the person was religious, the most base or primary verse for Catholic and religious services has been the 23rd Psalm.
The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the path of righteousness for his name's sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they ease me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. literally goodness and mercy shall ensue me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.
King James Version
The following poems and verses are more focused on death;
I Wish You Enough
I wish you sufficient sun to keep your attitude bright.
I wish you sufficient rain to appreciate the sun more.
I wish you sufficient happiness to keep your spirit alive.
I wish you sufficient pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger.
I wish you sufficient gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you sufficient loss to appreciate all that you possess.
I wish you sufficient "Hello's" to get you through the final "Goodbye.
Death is Nothing
Death is nothing at all
I have only slipped away into the next room
I am I and you are you.
Whatever we were to each other
That we still are.
Call me by my old well-known name
Speak to me in the easy way which you all the time used
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.
Laugh as we all the time laughed at the itsybitsy jokes
We enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me,
Let my name be ever the household word that
It all the time was.
Let it be spoken without effort,
Without the trace of a shadow on it.
Life means all that it ever meant
It is the same as it ever was
There is literally unbroken continuity.
Why should I be out of mind because I am
Out of sight? I am but waiting for you
For an interval
Somewhere very near
Just nearby the corner.
All is well.
Canon Henry Scott Holland (1847-1918)
I turn my head and look towards death now.
Feeling my way through the tunnel with the space of
emptiness and quiet.
The shimmering silence that awaits me.
This is my direction now; inward to the green pastures...
The cares of the world concern me no longer.
I have completed this life. My work is done, my
children grown.
My husband is well on his hero's journey.
I have loved much and well...
Those I leave behind, I love.
I hope I will remain in their hearts as they will
in mine...
Thank you for taking such good care of me...
And all of you who have been my friends, thank you
for teaching me about love.
Karen Vervaet from "Karen's Journal, 3 April 1993
In closing, memorial services and life celebrations are about the person that was lost and the life that they lived. It is up to you to settle what will help you and the habitancy who attend to best remember and celebrate the life of that person.
How to choose a Memorial Poem Or Verse For a Funeral Or Life CelebrationDave Loggins - Please Come To Boston - 1974 - DJ Single Tube. Duration : 4.50 Mins.By the 25th birthday most citizen expect to have fulfilled, something with their lives. There's only five more years until that big three-O and the mean someone ordinarily hopes that they are well on their way by their 25th year. They'll have placed into a place of their own, a job and may even be beginning a family all ready. Some new twenty-five year olds might be reasoning that they want their party to be a minuscule more grown-up, a minuscule more sensible around this time.
Of policy that's fairly normal. After all the 25th birthday is an leading milestone signifying stability and foundation. Even the music channel, Mtv recently noted its 25th year of existence in 2006.
The mean birthday is also considered an anniversary, this one being of the 25th year of the day you were born and the 25th anniversary is also known as the silver anniversary. Lots of silver decorations can add both elegance and an challenging theme to the birthday party. Plastic silver colored fedoras can be great party favors to give out to guests or as prizes. Other nice party favors are silver glasses and even silver beads. Silver or platinum colored cups, plates and napkins can ordinarily be found with intricate designs in ink or embossed on them for the guests to eat off of.
Traditional party birthday cakes used to have small prizes mixed into the batter for citizen to find. Since this is the 25th birthday party you could mix in some quarters with the batter. Do warn your guests before they start eating though. great yet use quarters and money in general in the theme of the party. Scatter plastic play money around the buffet table and hang it from the ceiling. Party loot bags can contain quarters for the guests to use.
Your 25th Birthday: An prominent Halfway PointBilly Connolly My Granny Funny Song Tube. Duration : 4.48 Mins.